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Saturday, September 27, 2003

A note

Now that this weblog appeals to a more select audience, I owe you dear readers an explanation for my absence. It's forthcoming. Short story: new boss, and no idea how said boss will react to the weblog. The longer story isn't much more interesting.

Oh, and the BMS has a new review. With even larger fuzzy pictures. Enjoy.

Friday, September 26, 2003


Because this web log is pretty darn nepotistic, let's take a look at an adoptable bunny close to home. Brownwyn is available to any and all potential friends of bunnies who live somewhere close to Washington DC. Oh, and by the way, she's the DC HBS's featured bunny. Why can't I be a featured bunny? Oh wait, on this web log...

(DC House Bunny Society)

Bronwyn is a dilute harlequin colored rex girl. In English this means she is a very unusual pinkish color with a few dark gray spotted areas around her face and her bum and her fur is as soft as cotton. Another thing that makes her unique is she has dark toenails against light fur which makes it look like she has just had her nails painted at the local nail salon. Very cute!. She has been in foster care for a very long time. She can be a little timid with people and rabbits who she doesn't know so she doesn't do so well at adoption days. Once she gets to know you, she is a real sweetie. She is on the medium to large side. Won't you take the time to get to know this sweet girl?
(DC HBS Featured Bunny)

On the plus side, Brownwyn is a big bunny and won't suffer from the thermal homeostasis problems that did Bunny in (oh deadly bath!).

C'mon folks, Brownwyn's looking for a hero. Happily, any nice person can be a bunny-rescuing hero. Why?

As you know, bunnies are the world's most conservative animals. They go with what they know; and what they know is the inherited wisdom of millions of generations of surviving ancestors. New ideas usually end in predation, so who needs new ideas?

A pet bunny is profoundly different from regular bunnies. Your new pet bunny will deduce from the food and water you offer that you are a trusted friend. Bunnies need time to learn your lesson, so be patient -- about a week. The rewards are pretty cool.

Your new bunny friend will regard you as some kind of superhero. You're the scourge of dogs and hawks. You're a protector and you pet bunnies' heads. What more could one want?

Wait a sec.: the superhero analogy doesn't hold. You don't have superpowers. Bunnies want people of means (to support a bunny lifestyle). Bunnies want people who are powerful (for the protection). Bunnies want someone with a cruel streak, willing to take on the evil predators.

Come to think of it, the ideal patron of a bunny is a James Bond villain. Yeah, that seems about right, even if it doesn't feel right.

Whether or not you are a James Bond villain, you should definitely consider adding Brownwyn to your home. She needs a friend.

Arsenal of Democracy

Set the wayback machine to April. Columns of armor are treating the Iraqis to some American style road rage. Yet most of the enemy won't come out and fight. The solution?

High-tech insult humor:

AS THEY roared north to Baghdad, US forces knew that they had a powerful secret weapon on their side - finely-honed insults that would make Iraqi troops’ blood boil.

Through enormous loudspeakers mounted on their humvees, troops broadcast messages proclaiming that Iraqi men were impotent.

The insult had been carefully chosen to so enrage Iraqi troops that they could not resist rushing from their defensive positions to attack the American troops in open battle, with terrible consequences.

Now that is too funny (especially if you're an evil Iraqi). But doesn't it sound a bit familiar?

All through the winter of '43 we had translators working, in joke-proof conditions, to try and produce a German version of the joke. They worked on one word each for greater safety. One of them saw two words of the joke and spent several weeks in hospital. But apart from that things went pretty quickly, and we soon had the joke by January, in a form which our troops couldn't understand but which the Germans could.
(Monty Python's 'Killer Joke Sketch' Shrine)

And to think some people thought tactical humor would be impractical. I wonder what other jokes we've stockpiled in the AoD...

I can see it now: fifty years from now, when the last US helicopter leaves Iraq, some poor fool will stick his head out the window and yell:

Good night folks, you've been a great audience. And don't forget to tip your waitress!

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Arguing with Cab Drivers

Cab drivers are salt of the earth types. right? They've wisdom rich for the gleaming. I used to think so.

I argued with my cab driver today. He asked me what I thought of the proposed $20B we intend to spend on rebuilding Iraq.

I said: "in terms of Marshall Plan Money, I hope it's enough." He was nonplussed. He recited the arguments you'd get from network news.

Okay, we intend to spend $87B on Iraq -- $67B for the armed forces and $20B for reconstruction. That's a lot of money. It's almost as much as we intend to spend subsidizing Amtrak.

But what would you pay to turn an evil country into a free country?

I'd answer: "Whatever it takes." A free Iraq is worth much, much more. For the first time ever, Iraqis have a chance to rule themselves. Do we really want to argue about the price tag?

At the end of WWII, we spent like crazy to save as much of Europe as possible. When the Sovs released Austria from behind the Iron Curtain in 1955, we spent and spent even though Austria pledged to remain neutral. I think we spent the money well.

As I see Iraq, it's composed of both country rubes and cosmopolitan city-dwellers. They're further along than were we in 1776. Why not give them the chance to upgrade to the first world? And wouldn't every dollar we spend further justify our invasion?

I say open the sluice gates and spend until it hurts. Free Iraq might just become our new bestest, friend. Consider the opportunity cost versus what we're willing to spend. Are we spending enough? Oh, and consider the military value of a free Iraq: it's our unsinkable aircraft carrier in the middle of our hit-list of bad states.

I want a free Iraq to answer the hard questions, like:
-what kind of representative government do you want?
-who are your allies?
-where do you want to go today?
-where shall we put the new Disneyland?

And as for the expense, a grateful, free Iraq will likely cut us a deal on the sweet, sweet crude. It's possible we might just break even.

Monday, September 22, 2003

Important Safety Tip

Everybody likes General Clark. Everybody except the bunnies. Want Proof?

Just so you know...


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